"You're on break already? What are you DOING with all that time?" T texts me on Tuesday.

"Oh my gosh this break seems like it's going on FOREVER," Ellen texts, although it's just Monday, and technically we're on Day 1.

Before we left school last Friday, I talked with several coworkers who are parents of small kids. The most-asked question was, "Do they have school/daycare?" You see, we love our breaks, our vacation time. But during that "time off," many of us join the ranks of overworked, under-acknowledged stay-at-home parents.

Even for those who answered that they did have childcare for a few days, they added the caveat, "You know, if they're not sick." (Because they always are). They weren't even thinking about blizzards giving them an early end to their pre-winter-break break.

There was talk of time with grandparents. A lot of it.

And then there was one coworker, whose youngest daughter is in elementary school. She has two older kids, which I credit for her expertise in the area. "Oh, I have a gym membership," she said. "They give you up to three free hours of childcare." Her daughter plays in the child care center while she works out and then sits in the café doing any computer tasks she needs to. Then they go swimming together and go home. "It takes about four hours total," she told me. She looked like someone who knew how to have a kid and have a break.

Because that's what we're all going for, right? Seeing the excitement of the season through our kids bouncing bodies is enough to make even the most anti-consumerist of uncles say, "Oh, the kitty set? Wrapped and under the tree, baby!" Enough for me to tell Axel that we should get her just one more thing, him ordering it frantically in the bedroom before it's sold out, and me standing in line at Target for package pickup. Aren't I against accumulating stuff?

I am. But she will like this so much, you guys.

My coworker, the same one who was thanking his lucky stars for one day of daycare and one day of preschool this week, was on the phone with his mom as she searched for the perfect dress for his almost-four-year-old. "She said it's supposed to be pink with sparkles and bows," he told his mom.

"There's just something kind of exciting about it," he told me one morning, sipping his coffee in the hall as we chatted before students arrived. "It's like, you see it through their eyes, you know?"

This particular work friend is a family favorite at our house, because he's given a new home to a few of Little L's former items. Years back, we gave him Little L's high chair that mounted to the kitchen counter. Now his second kid is using it. Just a few weeks ago, he picked up Little L's indoor playset. We couldn't have survived 2020 without it - her learning the words to "It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" and "Grownups Come Back" as Daniel Tiger sang and she swung. But she's too big to swing on it now. It got some occasional action - her climbing to the top or pulling herself up on the bar to hang upside down. But not enough to make it worth having a huge wooden structure in the basement. What she's into now is dancing and jumping and running and tumbling.

We've entered a new stage.

My coworker's daughter will find Little L's old playset set up at her house on Christmas morning this year. And if Santa comes through, Little L will find some new musical activities in her new wide open space; she has room to perform and move. The best part is we will be the recipients of someone else's hand-me-downs. Santa arranged it all, I swear.

I can still see my two-year-old on the red couch at the condo, daring to take a look at the Christmas train doing circles on the floor below her, then hiding her face again. I can see that very first Christmas, toting a baby in a carseat from event to event, worried about her bottles, sighing with relief when I saw her doze off in the rearview mirror as snow flurries came down and Christmas music played on the radio.

I can see her last year, inconsolable after she broke a Christmas ornament. I remember 2020, a day filled with Zooms and takeout and Santa handing out oranges on Google Meet.

So to answer T's question, what am I doing with my break? With our break? I am trying to make it enjoyable for myself, first and foremost, because of that whole put-your-oxygen-mask-on-first thing. If I want to look back on the fun times we had, I need to be the least crabby person I can be.

This is what I've got. And if you don't have kids, I'm sure some of these same tactics could be applied to your own days off, if you're lucky enough to have them. Or, you know, you could use them when your brother or neighbor drops their kid off at your house. Just saying.

1) Ambiance. First thing Saturday morning (Day -2 of Winter Break), we had a Family Cleaning Day. I had advertised it ahead of time, and I didn't let them down. Not when Little L cried that it wasn't fun to do on winter break. Not when I had to nag Axel to clean the bathroom as I vacuumed. "I am going to be in this house for the next two weeks and I need it to be clean," was my reasoning. "Today. Now." I stand by it. I'm a big Christmas fan, so I make sure the lights of the tree are on as soon as we're up (though often Little L does this for me), curtains open to see the snow, and I turn on the Kool 108's Christmas soundtrack as soon as breakfast is done.

2) A list of things I think would be fun. Things I like doing with Little L, which are different than her go-to choices of playing possum and cat or tag in the basement. Board games. Sledding. Skating. Holiday movies! Then some things that I enjoy that I could do while she's with me. Playing Christmas songs on ukelele. We could read side by side. What about walking to that new coffee shop that opened down the block? They sell kids' hot cocoa for $2. And then some tasks that I need to do, but that she might think are fun. Grocery shopping. Library. Gift wrapping.

3) A relaxed schedule. After I had my list, I put it on a schedule. I drew a calendar of the time off -- two weeks, plus one day, thank you very much to New Year's falling on a Sunday. I first filled in the actual events, and then I started piecing in errands and ideas. This way when Little L asks me what we're doing tomorrow, I tell her "wrapping gifts!" If I say nothing, she might start converting the living room into a school and make me be the student. Again. It's fine if we switch things around, and I'm okay with her lounging in her PJs for a couple of hours. But eventually, we will get our clothes on and we will do a thing, because that's what keeps me sane.

4) Get some breaks. Breaks can come in a few forms: 1. Things you do with your child(ren) in the company of others. 2. Quiet time. 3. Time without your child. Perhaps a grandparent or auntie or your partner can give you a buffer of a few hours so you can get a bunch of needles stuck in your back, or whatever it is that sounds relaxing to you. If you are doing Quiet Time (see #5), you get to do it with your child, and then you get some time away too. Don't trade one for the other.

5) Audiobooks. If you're trying to do Quiet Time, and if your child(ren) is old enough, I highly recommend audiobooks from your local library. I get mine from Libby and let me say, I am so thankful to Magic Treehouse for the sheer quantity of books they have put out. You often need to request these ahead of time, so my apologies for not getting this post out two weeks ago. I also recommend making sure that you get quiet time too. If your regular quiet time is after lunch and you will be at Aunt Bethy's house until 3pm, sure, go, but once you get back, hit play on that Jack and Annie book. The beauty of quiet time versus naptime is that you can flex it, so take advantage.

6) Simplify. What can give you a break in the evening when your stamina will likely be running low? We don't have to prep lunch, snack, and backpack this week, so that's a win. Can you order pizza and instead of dinner prep, maybe you get to play a game with your kiddo or even lay on the couch while your little(s) play independently in the next room? Does your partner or a grandparent want to do bedtime every single night this week? I say let them.

7) See how it changes. I will admit - oh how I hope I'm not jinxing myself! - this winter break with a five-year-old is a much lighter load than winter break with a four-year-old. Try to notice the ways things are easier this year, if they are.

8) And if they're not, know your audience. You should have a few go-to parent friends to text when things get rough (school cancelled tomorrow? I feel for you all - much worse to think you had it and have it taken away than to have never had it at all). Your cousin who is working all weekend and hardly gets a break has her own complaints, and she won't appreciate listening to yours.

9) Teach a new trick. I have seventeen days with Little L. That's over half a month. Even if you only have ten days, you have enough time to tackle something you've been meaning to do: dropping that nap, starting quiet time, potty training your toddler, or teaching your children to clean up their toys. In the past I've been above using bribery for these things, but we're on a limited timeline here, so I say do what you need to do. Marshmallow anyone?

10) Flex your time. On school days, I get up around 5 or 5:30 to exercise and shower before Little L gets up. But yesterday when I woke up at 4:45 AM (don't worry; I had fallen asleep at 8:30 the night before with a Christmas movie running on my laptop), I didn't feel like doing squats. Instead, I fixed myself a cup of instant coffee and tiptoed down to the office with my computer, where voila - I started this blog post. And then once Little L was up, we exercised together. It ups the difficulty level to run laps through the basement while flying Barbie and Tinkerbell through the air; they must weigh at least a few ounces each.

So far, our break has looked like this: the first weekend was filled with fun events -- roller-skating party at school, haircut for Little L, and her first theater experience. Once the workweek rolled around, Monday was errand day. Little L visited the dentist, where we found out she's getting a new molar, and then we reactivated our Costco membership and Little L maneuvered the cart as I tried to limit injuries to other shoppers. Tuesday we made cookies at Gamma's house and I took some time to run my own errands. Wednesday we wrapped gifts and I trudged through the snow to acupuncture while Axel took his lunch hour to work with Little L on a gift for me. Today I'm pretty much out of ideas, so when Little L asked me last night what we were doing today, I said, "puzzles in the morning and board games in the afternoon." I hope we can go outside, but it's a frigid winter wonderland out there. Tomorrow, Axel has off, and we've planned family baking and perhaps a walk to that new coffee shop.

I haven't even begun to think about Week 2. "Does Axel have off?" Ellen texted me. I mean, I'm assuming he has some time off that second week. Right? RIGHT?

Come to think of it, I better go check.